if you can pull off a beanie you can pull off my pants
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
|—||Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)|
Kim Kardashian tells Brody Jenner about Kanye West’s arrest when he attacked a paparazzo at LAX in 2013, proving that her husband is the king of everything.
don’t buy that “love is a serious word” crap. love freely and carelessly. love yourself. love that lady bird that just flew past. love that cutie that served you lunch at a cafe that you’ll probably never see again. love every single cat you see and when you stop loving someone or something, don’t fight it.
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”
Cis people are so gullible. A doctor basically gave a quick glance at your junk before you were even old enough to communicate and you think that’s the best gauge of your gender? Sad.
i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
I feel like I deserve to be getting top notch dick when I want
|—||Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead (via larmoyante)|